Everyone knows how to celebrate Christmas, right? We all have our family traditions – some of them drawn from our own culture and some connected to the life of our families. I’m sure you already have a set of rituals (whether you think of them that way or not) which give you the basic programme for the day. It would be extremely presumptuous of me to tell you there’s a right or a wrong way of celebrating. I can’t abide those articles you sometimes see in the newspaper or magazines telling you that, actually, crackers with paper hats in them are vulgar, or that it’s against etiquette to drink port before the King’s speech has aired. By all means, make merry in your own way. Here are just a few tips that I’ve found helpful for enjoying the season at a spiritual level.

Twelve Day Christmas is better than One Day Christmas

Today is just the first day of the famous twelve days of Christmas. That’s not how I imagine most British people think about it. Having effectively started celebrating Christmas sometime in November, many people get to Boxing Day with the sense that it’s all over. A couple of years ago, I went to a different church to normal on the eighth day of Christmas and was the only person there in a Christmas jumper. I saw the remains of the church Christmas tree in a skip in the car park.

Obviously, there’s no ‘you must celebrate constantly for twelve days’ rule, and many of us have to go back to work before the twelve days are over. But I’ve found real benefits to treating Christmas as a full twelve day festival. Not just because I haven’t yet adapted to clergy life, so my Christmas shopping/card sending is not always often completed on time. It’s also that there’s just too much Christmas to cram into one day. If you’re a churchgoer, you may well be there until late morning or lunchtime. Cooking the Christmas dinner takes ages. There are presents to exchange, King’s speeches to watch, quite possibly children to care for, relatives to catch up with, naps to be taken (not just me, surely?), and often complex emotions to process. No wonder the Christmas meltdown is so proverbial!

What there often isn’t is a moment’s peace to sit and reflect. And in any case, the miracle of the incarnation means so many different things. One (hectic) day’s reflection doesn’t begin to do it justice. Taking twelve days just seems to let off some of the pressure a bit. You don’t have to see everyone on the same day. You don’t have to contemplate the whole mystery in 20 minutes. You have some space to bring before the Lord your sorrow at absent friends and loved ones departed. The 25th doesn’t need to be as perfect as the painting on a Christmas card, because there’s always the 29th, or Jan 2nd to make memories in if you choose.

Besides this, a 12 day celebration allows you to enjoy three different Christmas collects (forthcoming, I hope!) and the surprisingly festive days of St Stephen (December 26th), St John (December 27th), the Holy Innocents (December 28th) and the Circumcision and Name of Jesus (January 1st). If you’ve never done it before, I guarantee they will show you new angles on what Christ’s birth means for us.

Take some time alone with the Lord

Secular Christmas (against which I have nothing) has enough to keep you occupied from dawn ’til dusk for several days. Just watching your favourite Christmas films can take hours on end and then there’s travel, social engagements and what have you. It can be easy to let time with the Lord slip. Try, if you can, to find some time each day where you can look at something connected to Christmas and the incarnation, to reflect and above all to pray and give thanks. Beyond the many relevant passages in Scripture, there are plenty of devotional resources available. Even just some time to reflect on a favourite carol is time worth spent.

It is more blessed to give than to receive

This is true whether or not Father Christmas brings you what you wanted. But I don’t mean just in your gift giving. Christmas is also a time to give to those in need if you are able. Financially, that could be a donation to charity, but it’s also worth thinking who in your life you can do good for this season. Is there someone in your family or circle who is likely to be alone, or is sick or otherwise sad this Christmas? Is there a family member who is just a bit difficult and angular? Do you have a friend who needs you? Can you give of yourself this Christmas time?

Wherever it is that you are, be all there!

For some this is not going to be appropriate advice. Some of us have responsibilities that mean we might need to monitor a phone or an email address. And it really is a blessing of modern technology that we can stay in touch with loved ones in far flung places. But Christmas is also a time when we see people face to face who often aren’t available year round. Let’s not waste that by being constantly distracted by our devices. Put down whatever it is you’re reading this on and be with the people around you. Take time to listen to them, to get beyond the pleasantries to see how they really are. Social media will still be there when everyone has gone home(!)

Be on your guard for Christmas temptations!

Alas, the devil does not take a holiday for Christmas and is only too keen to corrupt our celebrations and rob us of our joy. Don’t be paranoid, but be on your guard. Christmas is a time when envy or ingratitude can infect our gift giving and talk with family. It’s just about the only time of year when it’s socially acceptable to drink at practically any hour of the day – with the risks that brings with it. The line between feasting and gluttony can be hard to draw, but it is there and we struggle to respect it. Tempers can flare as tired, slightly boozy people remember old disagreements or discover new ones. And the devil accuses us whenever we make the smallest slip. So be alert and pray, even in our celebrations, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

I’d like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and every blessing for 2025!